Move the goalposts
A reminder that most of our desires can backfire
I want to swim faster.
That’s what I thought.
I was tired of lagging behind the others in my swim group.
So I wished to go faster.
When we invent goals like this, it's easy to miss how many hidden assumptions are packed inside.
We assume that ‘going faster’ is what needs to happen.
We assume it will make us happy.
We assume it’s even possible.
Lots of things like that.
We don't think through any of that. We just want something.
But really, we haven’t thought through anything.
How much faster were you thinking? Just for this lap? Or forever? Were you thinking it would be gradual, like a bit faster every lap? Do you keep getting faster until you reach olympic speed, and then what? What do you think the others would say if you started swimming twice as fast? They’d kick you out! So did you consider that your not very thought through goal has some risks and unwanted effects attached to it?
That’s why we often feel frustrated with where we are at in our lives.
We have set all these little flimsy, hastily thought-through goals that we probably don't even want to achieve if we spend the time to think about it.
It’s like those #isitcake videos on TikTok. Something looks like a tube of toothpaste or a coffee cup, but when you cut it with a knife it’s actually made of cake. There’s nothing there, except some flour and sugar.
So instead of fixating on a goal, open yourself to some other possibilities:
Like, did you consider that it could be achieved without you doing anything?
What if the guy in front of you gets a cramp? What if everyone else in the pool gets a cramp. Suddenly you’re the fastest swimmer.
What if you moved into the slower lane? You’ll feel a lot faster.
What if you took less breaks (you’re not faster, but your average speed just increased).
Maybe this is moving the goal posts.
But I think the goal posts are better when they are moveable.
Originally published on Buddha Bike